I am a flexible person, my tolerance is big enough.
Just imagine, I've been away from home since I was 15. And of all those years spent outside home, I've mostly lived with other people, either relatives or friends. Through those times I've learned there are many different kinds of people; that each one has their own way of viewing the world, living their lives, expressing their thoughts.. And so I've learned to put up with people.
Or maybe not [yet].
After returning back to Indonesia I don't really have my own place to stay, so I divide my time between my parents' place in Yogyakarta and my sister's place in Jakarta. Because of some reasons however, recently it was easier for me to just stay in Jakarta. Living with my sister on the other hand, was not that easy. And one major clash with her got me thinking about tolerance.
tolerance [dictionary.com]
-noun. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude towards opinions and practices that differ from one's own.
Surprisingly today I came across one article about tolerance from boundlessline, written by my favorite contributor there, J. Budziszewski. It was really worth reading so I encourage you to read it. But some quotes from the article hit me home that here I want to put them as a reminder for myself.
" Here are four ground rules.
First, it's not necessarily intolerant to express strong convictions. But tolerance does require doing so with gentleness and humility. Do you always do that?
Second, it's not necessarily intolerant to suggest that an opposing view is false. But tolerance does require doing so with charity and patience. Do you always do that?
Third, it's not necessarily intolerant to suggest that a particular behavior shouldn't be tolerated. But tolerance does require learning where to draw the line.
And, it's not necessarily intolerant to express a judgement about right and wrong, or good and bad. But tolerance does require doing so without presumptions or self-righteousness."
Oh how hard I was hit after reading the article! How often I practiced tolerance without gentleness, humility, charity or patience! How often I was being self-righteous! Now that I knew, I hope I can work to be tolerant in a correct way..
Still from the same website, I couldn't help not to chuckle when I found another relevant article. The title is very intriguing, Slothful Relationship. The article reminds us that often times, we are being slothful in our relationship with others. According to the article, we are being slothful when.. we are unwilling to do the work that deep relationships require. When we’re slothful, we escape or we neglect. We’re afraid of the things that might be difficult, so we run away and avoid them. We are spiritually, emotionally and relationally apathetic.
Now I was double hit!
The last article further says that LOVE IS NEVER EFFICIENT. Why? Of course because it needs efforts and commitment to have a strong one! Now that I was reminded, I hope I will not give up in working on my relationship with my sister. I hope that soon, our relationship would get better. Fingers crossed!
To close this post, let me put another quote from Margaret Chase Smith:
Just imagine, I've been away from home since I was 15. And of all those years spent outside home, I've mostly lived with other people, either relatives or friends. Through those times I've learned there are many different kinds of people; that each one has their own way of viewing the world, living their lives, expressing their thoughts.. And so I've learned to put up with people.
Or maybe not [yet].
After returning back to Indonesia I don't really have my own place to stay, so I divide my time between my parents' place in Yogyakarta and my sister's place in Jakarta. Because of some reasons however, recently it was easier for me to just stay in Jakarta. Living with my sister on the other hand, was not that easy. And one major clash with her got me thinking about tolerance.
tolerance [dictionary.com]
-noun. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude towards opinions and practices that differ from one's own.
Surprisingly today I came across one article about tolerance from boundlessline, written by my favorite contributor there, J. Budziszewski. It was really worth reading so I encourage you to read it. But some quotes from the article hit me home that here I want to put them as a reminder for myself.
" Here are four ground rules.
First, it's not necessarily intolerant to express strong convictions. But tolerance does require doing so with gentleness and humility. Do you always do that?
Second, it's not necessarily intolerant to suggest that an opposing view is false. But tolerance does require doing so with charity and patience. Do you always do that?
Third, it's not necessarily intolerant to suggest that a particular behavior shouldn't be tolerated. But tolerance does require learning where to draw the line.
And, it's not necessarily intolerant to express a judgement about right and wrong, or good and bad. But tolerance does require doing so without presumptions or self-righteousness."
Oh how hard I was hit after reading the article! How often I practiced tolerance without gentleness, humility, charity or patience! How often I was being self-righteous! Now that I knew, I hope I can work to be tolerant in a correct way..
Still from the same website, I couldn't help not to chuckle when I found another relevant article. The title is very intriguing, Slothful Relationship. The article reminds us that often times, we are being slothful in our relationship with others. According to the article, we are being slothful when.. we are unwilling to do the work that deep relationships require. When we’re slothful, we escape or we neglect. We’re afraid of the things that might be difficult, so we run away and avoid them. We are spiritually, emotionally and relationally apathetic.
Now I was double hit!
The last article further says that LOVE IS NEVER EFFICIENT. Why? Of course because it needs efforts and commitment to have a strong one! Now that I was reminded, I hope I will not give up in working on my relationship with my sister. I hope that soon, our relationship would get better. Fingers crossed!
To close this post, let me put another quote from Margaret Chase Smith:
"We should not permit tolerance to degenerate into indifference."
I do have many up and down moments with my sister when we lived together in the concrete junge of Jakarta. It can be emotionally exhausting sometimes, but trust me, it'll get better....
ReplyDeleteThis my post related with what I said
http://www.cipuceb.blogspot.com.au/2009/11/little-cold-hearted-brother.html
ありがとうCipu-kun, 今私は読み取ります^^
ReplyDelete