Just like Viky, I’m theoretically a Batak. I’m considered so because my father is, even though my mother is a Javanese. And exactly like him, I’m also unfamiliar with Batak culture, although deep down inside my heart I have a longing to know my root, a Toba dream. But that dream didn’t arise until some time ago.
Being a hybrid is not the easiest thing. I was born and spent half of my age in Jogja. My family live among Javanese community, I grow up witnessing Javanese tradition said and done, we speak Javanese at home, and we even go to a Javanese church. Given these facts it would not be hard for me to identify myself as a Javanese. But somehow I’ve never been able to feel as a truly Javanese. This, I believe, was the result of my childhood experience. I was often called “orang Batak” by my friends. At that time I didn’t understand the meaning of being “orang Batak”, but I could sense the connotation that I was not a part of them. On the other hand my father rarely, in order not to use the word ‘never’, tell me anything about my another side.
I grasped it piece by piece through my infrequent encounters with my Batak relatives. I lost interest in the effort though, because I didn’t feel the need to do so. In addition, I repeatedly heard that Batak people are harsh and rude. Unfortunately, the Batak people I knew really left me with those impressions, and it made me less interested in searching for my Batak background.
It was not until my small group leader was getting married that I began to be curious about Batak culture. She is also a half Batak – half Javanese like me. She was also growing up with the same struggle as me. But when she was getting married with his Batak boyfriend, she should mandatory learn about Batak culture. She was reluctant at first, but then she started to find out about the beauty of it. She told me a lot about what she felt and thought which then built up a curiosity in me.
And I finally had the opportunity to visit North Sumatera for the first time last December. For me it was more like a spiritual journey of finding my root. I was able to sit there with the people, to experience the traditions, to savor the culinary, to take pleasure in the magnificence of the land, to get the feel of being a Batak..
There are two things that I cherish the most about Batak culture. The first is the family tie. It is amazing to see how Batak people are complicatedly connected through marriage. In my puzzlement I conclude that one way or another all Bataks are brothers. It’s no wonder Batak people always welcome and treat their own people as family. I recall one of my seniors in university was very excited when he knew that I was a Batak and began treating me rather special. I was annoyed, but I can only appreciate it now.
The second is that.. Batak people are talking about feeling! It’s new since I’m used to a tradition where feeling is not openly shown. I like this tradition called “mandok hata” where all the family members sit together and explicitly say whatever they feel and wish and hope toward one another. Even though in my opinion this tradition brings another tendency of clash, but I think this is a very beautiful way of showing our affection toward our beloved ones.
The journey helped me a lot to have a deeper understanding about Batak culture. I can now see it with more appreciation. But somehow I still haven’t been able to identify myself as a truly Batak. Or maybe it’s better this way, because within me there will always be the two sides of me, the Batak side and the Javanese side. I value both and will always proudly declare that I’m a descendant of the two..
My Opung ^^- January 19th 2010
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